I have agonized for the last two weeks of whether I wanted to build an altar to my daughter Jennifer who died 5 1/2 years ago. I have questioned if I wanted to write this blog for about three days. I didn't build an altar this year. But, I am going to write this post. I feel driven to do so.
I decided not to build an altar because I reasoned that Jennifer's spirit is with me often. I decided that I didn't need to go through the emotional turmoil that I did when I made this altar five years ago. Whew, it was a difficult thing to do. It took me days. It was like climbing Mount Everest.
Although, once I was finished, a kind of peace descended on me and it became a place of reflection and remembrance for almost a week. I found myself sitting there and touching the things on the altar. Memories flooded back. Isn't that what this time of the year is all about?
Another interesting thing happened at that time. You see the quilt in that photo? Flash, my dog of 16 years at that time, decided that instead of sleeping with me at night, slept there the whole time the altar was assembled. I thought it so strange as Flash never lived with Jennifer. Two weeks later Flash was killed by a bus and of course is now frolicking with Jennifer in the "other world". How cool.
I did sit yesterday and make a list of all the people who have passed through my life, but have passed on. Quite a long list. I thought of each of them and how I contributed to their lives as they did to mine. Then the thought occurred to me that if all those people are in the same place that it is one heck of a fun party going on in the "other world". It causes one not to be so worried about leaving this world and going to the next!