Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Honoring Jennifer

It is a HUGE milestone today for me to be able to write about my first born daughter who passed on seven years ago on May 18th, 2004.

Each year since I started posting I've tried,, but just couldn't get through it. So here goes.

Have you ever known a person who was so gentle and with an aura that they felt "other worldly". My daughter always felt that way to me. I was awed by her. She was so kind hearted that she would fix food for the beggars under the bridges in Houston and take it to them. She fed ferral cats until she could catch them and help to tame them. Toward the end of her life, besides being the most amazing, loving and sensitive Mom to little Christoper, she raised butterflies. She even had new cards made that said "Butterfly gardener". She was truly "one in a million".

Outwardly she appeared so gentle, as a feather. But inwardly when the times were tough, she was made of steel. While hospitalized at MD Anderson and St. Joseph's Hospitals in Houston, she kept up with her treatments for leukemia and didn't put up with incompetence from anyone.

One of my funniest and greatest memories (now) was when she was moved to the cancer wing of St. Joseph's and upon entering the room discovered it was filthy. It even had used syringes in the case. Next thing I know, she is storming down the hall with her robe ties flapping in the breeze. Twenty-four hours before she had given birth to Christopher, naturally. Yup, she was made of stern stuff.

What a precious girl she was growing up. All the fun things - Girl Scouts, Drill Team, Class Beauty, Homecoming Queen. She was a beauty - inside and out. It NEVER went to her head.

A wit that could stop you dead in your tracks. A love for her son that swelled your heart. A kindness that was all encompassing. Yes, she is sorely missed.

Her legacy is a sensitive, kind, loving twelve year old son who is growing up and reminds me in many ways of his Mom.

She lives on forever in him. She lives on every time I see butterflies or my butterfly lilies bloom in the garden. And she lives on every time I see a rainbow.

I carry her in my heart daily. So do many others whose lives she touched. I was honored to be her Mom.


karenwl said...

What a beautiful tribute.

Lizita said...

Babs, that is so beautiful. Your pain must be horrific. My daughter was born on May 18 and now every year I will think of Jennifer and you on that day,

Anonymous said...

Well said. You wrote it good. I send you a cyberhug.

-- Felipe

Babs said...

Thanks Felipe - That means a LOT to me - I made it to the last sentence....and then.....

Tancho said...

Thank you for sharing that with us! I can only imagine how difficult it is for a mother to suffer such a loss.

Anonymous said...

Just know that life in this sad, old world isn't the end of your lives together. You and your sweet Jennifer will see each other again.

Babs said...

Thank you Karen and Lizita. My pain is no longer horrific. Time helps.

She was such a lovely person and her death was a loss to all the world.

Life's a Beach! said...

Babs, hugs to you. I'm sitting here with tears running. What a beautiful tribute! I wish no parent ever had to experience the loss of a child.

Babs said...

Me too!

La Cubanófila said...

I am honored to have read this. I am glad you could finally write it--a beautiful tribute and a beautiful gift of love to your readers, us. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

There is no way to measure the loss of a child. No one can know how you felt and feel. But all know that the memories of her beautiful soul are priceless. I send you blessings and God's love.

Babs said...

It has been lovely to have such beautiful heartfelt comments from people. New posters that I've never heard from before.

Thank you to all for your kind thoughts and comments.

Matthew Smith said...

Your daughter sounds like such a treasure.I remember you writing something about her a couple years ago when something grew in your garden that reminded you of her. Thanks for sharing her with us. Hugs to you. Jan in Mississippi

Nancy said...

Babs, I read this yesterday and tried to think of something fitting to write. No way could I come up with anything.

Then I realized I should just tell you how lovely you are and how beautiful your tribute to her was and hope that some day her son reads this, too.


Babs said...

Thanks Jan and Nancy. I appreciate your taking time to comment.

Two years ago on the fifth anniversary of Jennifer's passing I sent out an email to all the people whose names I had that had known Jennifer.

As a family we suggested a fitting memorial would be to plant a butterfly bush in her memory in their own yards or wherever they wished.

I think I then posted it on the blog also.

It was amazing all the responses that came in. I saved every one of those in a file for Christopher along with so many other memorable things I'll give him when the time is right.

His Mom was much loved by many.

Mic said...

What beautiful spirits - hers & yours.

Babs said...

Mic - I've tried to post your comment all day. Something is wrong with Google........sorry. Will try to post tomorrow.
Thanks so much.